Who is it that feels guilt and pride? The ego. It is the ego who says this is too much to do, I cannot stay with the plan, meditation is too time consuming. For many people, the idea of controlling their emotions feels absolutely impossible. Patience is the key word here. We have been acting out harmful feelings for years; transformation is not an overnight occurrence.
Remember, it is the fear,confusion, thoughts that harm and actions that separate that bring us down into the depths of despair. A strong ego really does a number on the inner spirit. We meditate not only for peace, which is needed, but to clear out the blockages, the extra baggage that prevents our being whole. Meditation has a far greater value than simply being peaceful for twenty minutes and then returning to the same old routine of disorder.
We are embarrassed by our reactions and the negative energy created when we forget who we are. Try and focus on the higher immortal pure and perfect spirit self who is changeless. The real healer is to repeatedly identify with the true Self. The more you actually do this, the more the subconscious impressions will fade. The eventual result will be a human being free of ego domination. This is real freedom.
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